So yes, today I am here to tell you guys a little bit about my birth plan, but like the title says… I really don’t want to talk about this.
First of all… I don’t completely hate the idea of sharing my birth plan, nor do I hate the idea of sharing the intimate details of the birthing experience I had when I had my son in 2017. I learned that when I was pregnant the first time, it was actually kind of helpful to hear others tell their stories. What I do hate is the idea that there might be someone reading this and thinking I am telling them they have to make the same decisions I did, or that they should learn from my mistakes. I also don’t want anyone reading this to get to the end, not agree with my birth plan and then tell me so…. no need for any of that.
I guess you could say that because my actual birthing experience with my first child went nothing like I had planned, I now know more specifically what I can plan for and what will most likely be out of my control. The first time around I had a bag completely stuffed with essential oils, a salt lamp, something to massage my back with, etc. I had no plan to get an epidural, in fact I was counting on using the bathtub and enforcing my option to be able to move around.
Long story short, I didn’t use any essential oils, I got the epidural, was stuck in that bed and… actually got to rest before it came time to push… I would say that my overall experience was great, and am hoping I have a similar experience this time around.
Because I wasn’t originally planning on getting the epidural, I was given a different pain medication that actually ended up making me very sleepy, only to be woken up to feel every contraction I was having every 4-8 minutes… it was exhausting. The truth is that I only ended up getting the epidural because I had a doctor whom I respected and trusted that recommended it to me. Once the medication kicked in, the first thing I thought to myself was that I wished I would have gotten it sooner.
This time around, I know I want the epidural, but I also want anyone reading this to know that there are multiple options in managing the pain throughout this experience. It’s not just, to get an epidural or go all natural. There are other drug and drug free methods you can explore. Because I tried a different method before, I already know that I have no interest in exploring other pain medications or methods. I think it may just be that I am genuinely pleased with how everything followed after getting the epidural, including the absence of any symptoms that I know can progress over time after having the injection in my spine. I haven’t had any issues.
So no, I won’t be able to get out of bed and I am already anticipating the shakiness that came last time when the medication started wearing off, but I look forward to not feeling the cervix checks, the contractions, or even the nurses that will “massage” my uterus once baby is here… let’s face it, if they are doing their jobs right, they aren’t exactly “gentle”.
Other than that, I only have a few other requests in my so-called “birth plan”, I want the skin to skin time right away and for my husband to cut the cord. The rest of the decisions will be made as we go along I suppose.
I think the main message I want to get out today is that I don’t think we need to put so much pressure on ourselves or other parents to have a long detailed plan. Don’t be afraid to ask your doctors one thousand questions or even for recommendations. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to change your mind about your plan… it’s honestly no one’s business how you will feed your baby, nor does it make you any less of a warrior to numb yourself from the waist down. I for one refuse to let anyone else tell me I am anything less than a strong mom based on my birth plan.
Take care of yourself mamas, and feed your baby. At the end of the day, a happy healthy mama and a happy healthy baby is all anyone of us can hope and dream for.